A Fun Game for Screenwriters

Towards the end of her fascinating book How Not To Make A Short Film, Roberta Marie Munroe includes a chapter called Top Short Filmmaker Clichés.

It is a list comprised of the top cliches included in short films that Munroe spotted during her time programming the Sundance Film Festival. As someone who has programmed four festivals, a lot of these rang true. Meanwhile, as someone who has written, produced and directed a number of shorts I am pleased to say I have not made any of these transgressions… yet.

A lot of the clichés are specific to North American shorts, but here are some of the ones I have seen the most a few of my favourites:

• Characters pointing a gun at their own head while breathing heavily
   
• The protagonist drives down a foggy road at night before seeing a child wearing a whit nightgown who mysteriously disappears in the reverse angle.
   
• Someone vomits. The vomit looks like milk and Oreos [or vegetable soup].
• The short is called One Night Stand.
   
• Two people are sitting in a car talking about nothing. We find out they are about to commit a crime, or that they are actually dead.
   
• The characters play chess. It is "a metaphor".
   
• A character gets into bed. The person already in the bed opens their eyes, but pretends to be asleep.
   
• You have a character in the bath, just below the surface of the water.
   
• A train whizzes past the hero while they are deep in thought.
   
• Your main character is the Black Sheep of the family, who returns home for a funeral/marriage.
   
• Your main characters are late for a wedding/funeral. This causes them to argue and the woman to start smoking.
   
• A terrified character is running through the woods from an unseen pursuer. There are shaky angles of the actor's feet before they trip over a non-existent obstacle.
   
• There is a zombie.
   
• Someone commits suicide.
   
• If you had 25c for each time someone says "What should we do?" you could fund your next project.
   
• It is an animated film that is "an homage to Edgar Allen Poe".
   
• There is a silent homeless guy.
   
• You use a contra-zoom.
   
• A couple breaks up over a conversation in a café.
   
• There is a time-lapse sequence.
   
• There is a close-up of a ticking clock.
   
• There is a close-up of a dripping tap.
   
• There is a close-up of someone staring into a bathroom mirror.
   
• The first scene and the last scene in the short are the same.

The most I have seen in one short is six.

Can you do any better?